Attitude. Fortitude. Grit. I’ve got plenty of ’em all, baby! But sometimes the little devils hide from me.

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
                                                         ~~~~ Dylan Thomas

Balls to the wall.  It’s the only way.  No matter what you want to do with your life, go full tilt.  I’m not talking about flying through life not-smelling-the-posies-along-the-way kind of living….  I’m talking personal goals.  An inner drive. De-fucking-termination.  Getting it Done.

I forget this sometimes but  I do know it.  I’ve lived it for crimminy sakes but still there’s a part of me  that sometimes tiptoes around so that I don’t have to make waves through my life.  I let my weaker side out a bit so I won’t rock the boat  and throw myself to the sharks.  I give in when giving in is the totally wrong thing to do.

And. I. Don’t. Like.It. One. Bit.

I fell off the diet chuckwagon last night. Not all the way to the ground but enough that I felt the heat of the pavement and the scrape of the calorie gravel under my butt. It was uncomfortable, folks and now I have to deal with the consequences.

It was a Magnum Double Caramel, Belgian Chocolate-enrobed Icecream bar. Have you seen these things?  Seriously?  Totally off the charts and not made by cute little elves.  No, this mama was surely made by Satan himself.  The sins of  world dipped in caramel.  Twice.   I’m drooling just thinking of it.  Damn!

Reality check: I probably won’t gain an ounce from my indiscretion but it really isn’t about gaining or not gaining.  It’s about the loss of self control.  Taking my eyes from the prize for a two minute orgasm of chocolate and caramel on the stick.  That’s what pisses me off the most.  Did I mention Caramel?  AND chocolate. Lordy!

But, it was good.  Really good. So good that sonnets should be composed to praise its goodness for all eternity.  (cue angel choir) AHHHHH

OK.  That’s over.  I can’t undo what was enjoyed with so much moaning I used up a whole decade allotment of “m”s.  So I’ll do the only thing left to me.

I’ll forgive myself. After all, it was one lousy slip-up after six months, twenty-six days, twelve hours and thirty-two minutes of denying Magnum bars are made and stored in the grocer’s freezer section in all the supermarkets on my plane of existence.  I will get right back on that wagon, cut up some veggies and forge ahead.

Of course, this forging ahead  is helped tremendously by the fact I don’t have another Magnum Bar in my freezer.


Categories: life, weightloss

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: